jueves, septiembre 07, 2006

Manual para conquistar el mundo, por el Dr. Brain.

Plan Nº 234: “El poder de la palabra”

Paso 1: Escribir un poema que apele con la mayor universalidad a todos los sentimientos humanos más profundos (para más información sobre este tipo de poesía, visitar www.mapasnocturnos.blogspot.com, y ver el artículo sobre Poesía Cachuda) No importa su duración, pero debe ser completamente efectivo a la hora de emocionar al oyente. Obligatoriamente, debe tocar temas como: los huérfanos, el ser patriótico, la familia, la discriminación de todo tipo, la paz en el mundo, etc.

Paso 2: Agregarle al recitado del poema una música llena de violines, que vaya aumentado de volumen hacia un glorioso clímax al final del poema.

Paso 3: Conseguir un espacio en cualquier show televisivo de talentos (cuanto más masivo, mejor), y recitar el poema con pasión. El público quedará embobado.

Paso 4: Con la fama televisiva, llegarán los shows y las giras, donde distintos artistas acompañarán el recitado con cantos gregorianos, danzas exóticas, etc. Fundamental: Conseguir a Diego Torres cantando “Color Esperanza”, Patricia Sosa con “Aprender a Volar” y Fito Paez con “Dar es Dar” o “Brillante sobre el Mic” (la de “Haaaaay... Recuerdos que no voy a borraaaaar...”)

Paso 5: Eventualmente, llegará la oportunidad de recitar el poema frente al Papa, con las cámaras de televisión de todo el mundo enfocándote, la Sinfónica de Londres y los Niños Cantores de Viena acompañando. El poema será traducido en directo a 120 lenguas y dialectos.

Paso 6: Recitar el poema. Enamorar al mundo entero. Cuando el clímax atrapó al público, agregar un último verso al final,: “Ahora ustedes son mis esclavos. El mundo me pertenece”.

Paso 7: Corroborar los efectos.

Paso 8: Asesinar a quienes no miraban televisión en ese momento.

Paso 9: Disfrutar

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